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Nuturing and caring for your child is rewarding and thoroughly enjoyable. Sometimes advice on common issues in early childhood growth and development can ease worry and concern. Our tips listed here will be updated on a regular basis to provide parents, guardians and carers with the most up to date methods.

Why won’t my children listen to me?!

Picture this ….

My children are 5, 3, and 18 months old. They do not listen to me and do not follow my instructions, until it gets to fever pitch shouting point. They do listen to my husband and appear perfectly behaved for others. Things feel like they are getting out of control - how can I make my children listen to me so that I am less stressed, and our family is happier?

Step	Note	Example
1) Ask children something	Keep it simple (5 words or so)	Running outside please, Bath time, Ben time to do your homework
2) If they listen, fabulous	Let them know you appreciate listening. Be positive and loving	“Well done!”. “ I really like when you listen”.
3) If they do not listen, stop.	Vital that you do not repeat yourself.
4) Find a way to be calm: don’t react, don’t repeat yourself, take a deep breath and think	Takes sheer willpower. Use this plan as a reminder. If frustrated or have repeated request, go back to step 3.	“Ok, they have not listened. If I repeat myself now, I will stay angry, and will reinforce our current patterns. The worst that will happen is dinner will be cold, I can deal with that!.”
5) Have a consequence ready.	A consequence IS NOT A PUNISHMENT. It is the direct result of a behaviour.	Dinner isn’t so nice when it gets cold.
6) Have a calm chat about listening. Only have one of these per day –so choose wisely which episode of non-compliance you want to address.	Remind child not to interrupt you if they get defensive. Keep it simple. Quickly go back to activity at hand, eg, bath-time, story time.	Today when I asked you to do X, you didn’t listen. I don’t like it when you ignore me. I would like you to listen when I speak to you.
7) Stuck? Go back to step three.
8) Still stuck? Getting angrier - Look at child’s perspective – are they overly tired, busy, stressed or are you? Go to step four.	Tired, busy, stressed, sick are signs you really should go easy on you and the children. Find a way for them to comply without repeating yourself.	Help child to the table.
9) Still stuck. You will have another instance like this to practice remaining calm and not repeating yourself.	Tomorrow is another day.	“I’m doing the best I can. Feels like it is not good enough, but at least I didn’t repeat myself. Am doing well so far.”

If you are finding that this is almost impossible to put into practice, you will get much more success after attending the Being a Mother Workshop.
Betty Chetcuti, psychologist, wife and mother, provides private consultations and the Being a Mother workshop that:

discusses your experiences in a focused and helpful way

imparts practical and easy-to-use strategies for happier families

improves confidence and that feeling of control, satisfaction and competence

removes anger, stress and frustration.

Enquiries to Betty at 9882 7958, 0407 819 519, www.beingamother.com